Fifty Shades of Hetalia Crack
by CannotReadHer
Summary: Fifty different stories of hetalia crack, no 'that thing' scenes, not a crossover with Fifty shades of Grey. I thought of this title because Imma write 50 chapters(If I can even last that long) of crack. Ideas needed, please!
1. Chapter 1

**As you know, this is called Fifty Shades of Hetalia Crack. No, it's not a crossover. And no 'that' scene. I just gave this title because I gotta write fifty chapters of Hetalia crack for no reason. Random I am. My? Fail English? Unpossible! **

**Alright, on to the first crack...**

**(Haha and on a /serious/ note, I am in need of ideas, so please help!)**

"Hehehe! Japan, do you want some pasta~?" An Italian with dark brown hair and red eyes gave a small chuckle. **(Guess you should know who~)**

"NU."

"SI."

"IIE.**(It means 'No' in Jap, if I'm not wrong...)**"

The Japanese with red eyes glared at the Italian.

"When I say no, I mean no. Now GET OFF MY DAMNED TABLE!"

"Awwww, so you don't want pastaaaaaaa~?" The Italian, whom since I'm lazy so let's call him 2p! Italy, shot the Japanese, 2p! Japan, a look.

"Never underestimate the country of mafiaaaa~" he giggled.

"Stop stealing your brother's sentence. Plus, you know my country made Death Note."

"But Death Note is simply an animeh!"

2p! Japan pulled out a black notebook with the words 'Death Note' written on it.

"That's fake!" 2p! Italy pointed out calmly.

2p! Japan then wrote a hamster's name on the book and the 2p!s glared at each other for 40 seconds before the hamster died. And 2p! Italy ran away.

Until-

"ITALY! HOW MANY TIMES HAD I TOLD YOU, STOP MAKING WEIRD PUPPET SHOWS!"

Japan drank his tea calmly while watching Italy being pulled away by Germany for training. Because always drink tea when your friend's being chased by a crazy German. **(Uh... This part is a bit copied from somewhere. So this sentence's basically not mine!)**

But, who can even control so much puppet when he has two hands and two legs...?

Nobody cares anymore.

Japan needs his beauty sreep. Rike, totarry.

Me rikey.

_Meanwhile, in the distant, the Allies..._

"Heyhey China! What would you do if you found aliens in your house?" America laughed.

Basically the answer was to eat it.

Meeeeeeeeeep.

Screw you guys I'm going home.

**All the crack. And all the random crossovers. They'll just last for a chappy, I swear! But srsly, everything's gotta be crack. And once again, please gimme ideas...**

**By the way, if you wonder what's Death Note, it's an Anime/Movie which consists of someone getting a note(Death Note) which can kill people in 40 seconds with heart attack, or with the way of death written down.**

**And that last sentence, haha...**


	2. Chapter 2

**NYANYANYANYANYANYANYAN**

**MEOW**

**OK NOW I ADMIT IM CRAZEH**

**Fine. On to the next chappy...**

The Allies were, like, playing truth or dare.

"China I dare you to give Hong Kong back to me!" England yelled at China.

"NU HE'S MINE!"

And hence, a fight started. And that's why, never play Truth or Dare with the Allies. Even 7 minutes in heaven is way better.

But, if we count seven minutes in heaven without the 'reader' thingy, there's, like, totally 5 people in the Allies. What? Who? Oh Canada, sorry I forgot. Normally the pairing for 7mins in heaven for allies gotta be USUK, RoChu, and leave France forever alone. Um, I mean, Franada. Damned autocorrect.

**FINE. I GONNA WRITE SOMETHING NORMAL ABOUT DA ALLIES.**

"Yosh! And here's the AWESOME ME!"

**I GET IT. THATS NOT NORMAL. FOR SOME REASONS, IM IN LOVE WITH THE CAPS LOCK. MORE LIKE HOW THE HELL DO I TURN IT OFF.**

And here we are watching the Axis.

Cause they're awesome.

The Axis of Awesome.

**OH YEAH I GET IT YOU WANT SOMETHING SERIOUS**

**FINE THERE YOU GO**

So Japan's watching anime. Ita-chan's making pasta. Doitsu's shining bright... Light a doitsu. And Japan started Hetalia. And all hell breaks loose.

**FINE FINE SOMETHING SERIOUS I'LL DO IT**

**Fact: In Liechtenstein's last military engagement in 1886, none of the 80 soldiers sent to Italy were injured, but 81 returned.**

Somewhere, Liechtenstein kicked out an Italian from the 81 people that returned. I mean, why would something like that happen? No idea. Switzerland facepalmed.

**Fact: The word 'awesome' started from Shakespear... I think, but I know he uses it.**

Pairings. Pairings everywhere. Geez...

**Fact:** **2 kids with green skin appeared out of nowhere in an English town once. If I'm not wrong, that happened before in Spain...**

"LOOK! AMERICA! I TOLD YOU THEY EXIST!"

or

"LOOK! IGGY! I TOLD YOU THEY EXIST!"\

**Aww, I had no idea what to write for this chappy. I'm such a failure... Well, I just put a serious load a crap inside (TIME TO ADD BULLSHIT) and some facts...**

**Haha, I don't care anymore...**


End file.
